Mar 27th, 2008
If your name isn’t John Chow, Dont tell your friends your salary
When you’re in college, you are either:
1) Broke
2) Living off your parents
3) Old and living off money you saved
4) 1 and 2, 1 and 3
Ah but now you’ve graduated and gone on to the real world, and so have all of your friends. Its a party, and you’re rolling in your newfound money, and the world is all you imagined it to be. Ok, so that may or may not be true, but one thing that IS true is that now is the time when all of your friends that chose different majors are starting to figure out exactly what their college degree is worth.
Its also the time when everyone gets curious what everyone else is pulling in. Dont give in.
There are a lot of reasons why you shouldn’t tell your friends how much you make, especially if you work in similar fields. All we have to do is look at the various situations to see that the outcome is almost never good.
You make about the same for the same kind of work
This is the only time that ends well but this is the minority of all cases.
You make more than them
1) They get envious of you and resent you. They may be jealous or discouraged, either way its not good.
2) They will expect you to pay more. Its true not all friends will, but the temptation will be there. “Oh John can pick up the bigger tip, he makes X”
3) They might try to borrow money. Lending to friends is pretty much a terrible idea.
4) You’ll have to justify not spending big. The words “come on, I know you can afford it.”
5) They use your salary as leverage to get themselves a raise. This is especially a problem if you work together. If Bob knows you make X and he does a similar job but makes y, he might pull the “Bob makes..” card when his salary review time comes. Just imagine how uncomfortable that will make things for you.
They make more than you
1) Superiority complex. If they make more than you, they might figure they are worth more than you, or are harder workers than you, or more intelligent than you.
2) YOU get envious and resentful. You don’t want to be resenting your friends, do you?
3) They pity you. This is the worst probably, no one wants to be pitied. If you like being pitied, you have a serious character flaw.
4) You are tempted to use it against them or the company. This could ruin friendships, and careers.
Yes I know its not like this with all friends but the truth is, why risk it?
- 7 Comments
- Career
Hey, I’m 1, 2, and 5 (living off my brother)!
I’m inclined to agree - I don’t flaunt my cash, don’t try to talk about money (issues or problems). Some people try to volunteer the information to get a reciprocal “I make…” but I don’t allow myself to be pulled into that - I leave it as it is, and let them assume what I make by how I live my life - I may not be rich, but I am comfortable.
I have personally had experience with this being a problem, its never a good idea, honestly.
I disagree, I think that sometimes its good to be able to tell where you should be in the market. Just my 2 cents.
My wife and I work for the same company…and I’m her boss! Even though she has the longer tenure I make more. I can’t express how happy her parents were to discover this after they paid for her degree, while I have none!
Talk about being on both sides of the coin…
Anytime I make the mistake of saying I’m doing OK financially, my wife and I are always hit up for loans from family. UGH. From now on, I’m perpetually broke, whether I really am or not!
I am a pharmacist, and make good coin. It only took me 5 1/2 years of school (which is just a little over what one normally spends on a B.S.). I do pity those who make less than I. Really, pharmacy school isn’t that hard– and the pay is Unbeleivable.
I have friends that eventually went back to school and PAID out of their own pockets for an MBA and I still make considerably more than them. Pretty sad.